Unfortunately, as of late, I have come to grips with my mistakes in life.

Perhaps that’s a good thing. But in my case it’s more embarrassing than anything else.

Specifically I am referring to my weight. I have actually been deemed obese. Yours truly. The former high school athlete. The man who once modeled his basketball game like Magic Johnson. Instead now somehow models his physique closer to Notorious B.I.G sans the rapping skills and the money.

I have just managed to depress myself.

The best part is I have at least come to this discovery while I’m still breathing, though I can’t believe I let it get to this point. Lately it seems I’ve been walking by more buildings with mirrored windows or columns, providing me with an unwarranted and much despised side view of my body. There’s a lot more there than I thought.

I find myself walking down the street with a built-in beach ball under my shirt. Not cool. Why would anyone want to do that?

So I have come to a decision. I will begin taking much better care of myself. I will exercise daily. I will be much more conscientious of what I eat. I will (sigh) lay off of the alcohol. I will be active.

And I’m not afraid to do it. To be honest I’m tired of the undisciplined lifestyle. It’s not even fun anymore. Junk food taste like, well, junk. You feel horrible after eating bad food. I don’t enjoy it as much as I once did. That’s a good thing.

I will stay committed to my goals. I will deprive myself of what I have grown accustomed to for years. I will live my life with limits. It will not be an easy task. But I am ready to face it head on.

My unhealthy lifestyle has also created many fears.

I fear a heart attack at a young age.

I fear my little girl will have to walk down the aisle one day without her father.

I fear never getting the opportunity to meet and/or play with my grandchild(ren).

But my craziest fear? My craziest fear is that I will work hard to deny myself the comfort of my old lifestyle, only to die in an Earthquake or Car Accident in five months anyway.


4 thoughts on “MY CRAZIEST FEAR

  1. I feel you on all of that my friend…..I wish you all the luck in deflating that beach ball!!! I am cheering you on 100%!! Oh, and hopefully you don’t get killed in a car accident or the BIG ONE!!

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