Five New Things In The White House

It’s been all over the news and Facebook (which for many of us is one and the same) about how our president made a pit stop at a particular restaurant on his trip to Los Angeles.

The first thing that went through my head was how I could already hear his haters making cracks about black people and chicken. If it hasn’t started already, I’m sure it’s coming.

Then I thought how ironic it is that Mrs Obama is such a strong advocate for Obesity in Children while her husband grubs on lard.

I know, it’s not the same scenario but it’s still a little ironic.

But the thing I thought the most was what exactly would make our president go to such a small, though well known, establishment to grab a bite to eat. Also note that this was between two fundraisers, one at $38,500 a head and another at $5,000 a head.

But in between he needed some real food!

We all know that the Obama’s are the first african american family who lives in the White House, but don’t have to clean it.

But what we rarely think about are the other things that come along with that fact, that the house on Pennsylvania Avenue has probably never seen before 2008.

So here are some things that I’ll bet are confusing the hell out of the staff that’s been in that house for a few terms:

(Disclaimer: I”m black so it’s automatically not racist, modern rules. Besides this is just an entertaining list that has no merit whatsoever. Lighten up people.)

FRIED CHICKEN

I’ll bet there hasn’t been a fried chicken recipe in that house since they laid the foundation. I imagine more Scallops, Gravy and Pot Roast type foods.  Our president has been deprived of his chicken for 3 years, couldn’t take it anymore, and found his way to this restaurant

B.E.T.

Of course this all “unconfirmed”, but I heard the cable company in the white house had to be changed to a provider that offered BET.  One day per year, Mrs Obama breaks out her baggy jeans, wife beater, and recites every rap on the BET Awards while throwing up the Westside logo with her hands. Hey, it’s in everybody.

HAIR RELAXER

First time Mrs Obama asked for this they needed to bring in three black translators and samples. Since this type of product isn’t available in that part of the Washington and they’ve never heard of it, they had to “find someone” who could handle it. Also, creating the first time that anything used in the White House was bought out of the back of a van. Two points for this one.

WEED/JOINT

I don’t care what anybody says, due to all the stress President Obama gets his high on from time to time. He quit smoking cancer sticks but he didn’t know “these fools would be all up in his grill” (his words, well sorta) like that. So he’ll close the bathroom door and….oh wait, we had Clinton in the White House so this one isn’t new . Never mind, scratch this one off the list.

RAP MUSIC

Oh you KNOW this is a first in the White House. Laws had to be changed since it was previously illegal on all of Pennsylvania Ave. I think this was the secret weapon used to bring down Bin Laden. A tactic no other country ever saw coming from the White House.

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