Yeah I get it. It’s just a movie.
But like most guys I’ve been an action fan as far back as I can remember. I like gun fights if they’re cool, I like blow ups if it’s relevant. I like fights if they can actually fight. I like car chases if they provide a fresh look at car chases (do not miss the climax of Fast Five).
Anyway there are certain things on my mind after many years of watching action movies that I just can’t shake. And they are usually from the Villains perspective.
First of all let me give you my opinion on villains in action films.
An action flick is only as good as it’s villain.
I thought Bad Boys 2 was horrible. It wasn’t as funny as the first one, Martin Lawrence was turned in to a sissy, and most horrible of all, the villain was someone who my little girl could take out in a knee kick competition.
Remember that scene where the cops tear down his mansion? Dude threw a tantrum. Literally, a tantrum.
Whoa! Yeah you’re a tough guy. What else does he do? Cry at romantic movies?
For a good action flick, you need a tough guy. Ruthless. Solid. Someone capable of dethroning the hero.
There’s one problem I have with villains actions.
Why are villains always “allowed” to freely kill one their sidekicks if they step out of line?
Why doesn’t the sidekick ever fight back? Or swing first? Or shoot first?
Remember this scene in the cult classic New Jack City?
A classic scene for anyone who’s seen it. But why did it have to go that way? Did G Money want to die? He’s essentially begging for his life but he too is a ruthless criminal. Why not show up with a gun yourself and when it came to it have a showdown in the middle of the….wherever they were.
Again, yes I realize it’s just a movie. But it happens so often that it can’t be ignored. Well actually yeah it can but I don’t want to.
I saw this movie called Four Brothers. There were two scenes that literally had me hollering at the screen.
In one scene the villain named Victor Sweet, played by the very underrated Chiwetel Ejiofor, chastises one of his flunkies. The flunky took a bite of food while his boss was in the middle of his speech so he throws the food on the floor and makes the flunky eat it. The flunkies wife stood up for him and he not only called her the dreaded B word, but he also made her eat off the floor too.
And they did. Seriously. They did.
Let me tell you something. Noooooo way in hell could that have been me. If I work for a “bad man” I’m sure I would have a gun too. Why would I let you humiliate me, disrespect my wife, then humiliate her? Unless Victor Sweet is super human he would have caught a silver bullet in the noggin.
The next part that had me throwing empty plastic cups at the tv (hey it’s an expensive tv. I’m not that stupid).
Victor Sweet accused this politician of giving up his name to his enemies. First he humiliated the politician by making him sit at kiddie table.
Then in an unprecedented move Victor walks over to him, ask one of his people for a pistol, TURNS AROUND TO RETRIEVE IT, then turns back around to shoot and kill the politician.
He turned around! Yes TURNED AROUND to get the pistol. Had that been me that pistol would have been a free grab like candy coming out of the pinata at a birthday party. I would lunge for the gun and if I got it, I would have taken out Victor and then as many people as I could before they got me, if they got me.
I don’t get it. And this happens constantly in action flicks.
Another thing action flicks are almost always guilty of.
There’s always that one scene where the villain manages to capture the hero. But they don’t kill the hero right away, no no no. Despite the fact that they’ve put a quick bullet in everyone else, the hero doesn’t get one. He gets tied up and the villain leaves a snake behind. Or he gets tied up and the villain starts a fire and leaves. Apparently giving them an escape. BUT! Of course not before the villain tells the hero the entire plan.
Then SURPRIIIIIIISE. The hero gets loose and now he knows exactly where to go and what to do next. You want to kill the hero but don’t, even though you killed innocent people all through the movie without so much as a blink. Then for some reason you feel the need to share your entire plan with the one person who can stop you.
Wait, come to think of it why do I love Action Movies so much?