An Uncomfortable, Unhappy Place

I’m going to tell a short story about a place that we don’t talk about very often. I won’t be crude, but I will be honest.

It’s a place that we all go, but for some reason it’s almost unconstitutional to talk about it. Apparently it’s symbolic of a place where there’s never anything good going on.

My friends I am talking about a public restroom.

Wait, wha hold on, where are you going?

Before you get to hitting the X button at the top of your screen, realize that, a) that illustrates my point. Why is it so taboo when we all do it?, and b) I promise I won’t go in to graphic details.

While we all go, there are some experiences that are just unacceptable.

Case in point….we’ve all experienced some variation of the following:

….that uncomfortable feeling when you’re in a stall and door of the restroom flies open with a vengeance.

You’re disturbed because as soon as this guy walks in all he’s doing is a bunch of grunting. You want nothing more than for him to stop.

But it doesn’t stop. In fact it gets worse. At this point you just want to yell for him to shut up and remind him that it doesn’t take all that noise to go. But you’re afraid that any sudden noises from you may startle him and there’s no telling what will come out if that is the case.

So you suffer in silence. You kick yourself for leaving your head phones in the car, at your desk, or at home.

Right about this time you hear him make a noise that you didn’t even know a human can make.

Now you’re really kicking yourself for leaving your head phones in the car, at your desk, or at home.

Then he does the unspeakable. The absolute most horrid act you can imagine. He answers his ringing cell phone!

You have got to be kidding me!!

While you feel sorry for the other person on the phone, you wonder why this clown has made no effort to tell the person who called that they caught him  at a bad time. It’s ok to tell them. How else will they know?

Then again, I felt good that I wasn’t the only one subjected to the porcelain slaughter of death.

Finally the battle between man and toilet end with you being unsure of exactly who won.

By now you absolutely hate this nameless, faceless person.

He’s breathing heavy as he does what he has to do to prepare himself to head back in to civilization.

He concludes by walking out the stall and walks out the door……without washing his hands.

Ugh! I don’t know him. Have never seen him. But I hate him with a passion.

There ought to be a law

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