What Exactly Is TMI?

I like to think that I have a ‘free’ sense of humor. Not just because I don’t get paid anything for it, but because I like to be free to find humor in anything. No topic is off limits. Nothing offensive, just any subject has the potential to carry a haha.

Sometimes though in this extremely sensitive, lightweight world we live in it may be difficult to get the world to laugh at the odd.

So with that said, after going for a walk at lunch time yesterday I got back to the office, sat in my chair and felt an immediate discomfort on my back side.

Relax. There’s nothing crazy associated with it.

I know what it was that caused my discomfort. At that moment I had a revelation.

I picked up my iPhone (doesn’t everybody have one?) and launched the Facebook app. I updated my status with the following:

Ladies, be happy that you don’t have ass hairs. Well, most of you at least

Ok look people. This is a very honest observation. Depending on how you sit, what you’ve been doing or what mood they’re in those little hairs on your butt hurt. And it’s not like your head when you can moisturize them either. Fortunately most women will never know that.

On my post, one of my friends, Baron, commented:

TMI bro. TMI

And just in case you don’t know, TMI = Too Much Information

To which I became confused. I spoke nothing of my situation, nor (despite my temptation) did I take a picture of mine and post it. In fact I didn’t even mention if I had hair.

My coworker told me she couldn’t believe that I posted that.

You would think that I told a dirty joke and added a picture shot of an adult movie and tossed it on my Facebook page.

Geez people. We cannot be that far gone as a society that mentioning hairs on your butt is a cause for panic.

Richard Pryor would be rolling over in his grave. Whatever that means.

You wanna hear TMI?

I’ve been home sick watching tv in the daytime. Just before I find out if Jerome, the 8th dude tested, really is Shaquita’s child’s father,  Maury tells me we’ll find out after the break.

Then a commercial starts and after they’ve shown a woman in a dress of some sort prancing around the back yard in a straw hat smiling, the voice-over starts:

“Is your Period too severe? Do you find yourself gushing more than usual?”

Then Sandy, Lori, or Susan looks at the screen and speaks her part:

“My Period was so bad I wondered if I would bleed to death. I ruined all of my clothes and was not allowed in a public restroom in six different states. Until I discovered Vagimoxinitis EM.”

Shoot to a shot of her running on the beach with her dog….

“Now I’m free, clean and dry. I’ve even had those bans lifted in the six states.”

Cut to a digital image of the product. Voice-Over returns.

“Vagimoxinitis EM is high tech support created by leading officials. Unlock other feminine products,Vagimoxinitis EM is designed to keep you fresh for days at a time.”

Digital image fills with virtual blood but no digital liquid escapes the product. Voice Over continues….

“Consult a doctor if you have hives, stink naturally, or think you may be pregnant. Vagimoxinitis EM is not for women over the age of 94, anyone on Menopause, and can be fatal if you take while battling diarrhea….

“…..side effects may include, nausea, diarrhea, migrains, anal secretions, uncontrollable gas, cancer, heart attack, and in rare cases, instant death. Consult your physician if bleeding last for more than 45 days or if you’re still watching this commercial.”

Shoot back to Sandy, Lori, or Susan who is sitting on the white couch next to her husband Tom, Bill, or John. They are both grinning on the sofa at the camera. She concludes…

“Taking Vagimoxinitis EM was the best decision I ever made”.

And cut.

Ok there were like 26 TMI’s in that ad and yet nobody says a word. You mean to tell me that…well, never mind I’ll just quit while I’m behind.

Oh, and Jerome…You are NOT the father.

Of course I had to rewind the DVR to get the results because after that commercial I had to go toss my cookies.

Aw crap, TMI?

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