Sorry Guys, I’ve Been Away Playing God

Relax mom. It’s not literal.

Hey guys, I know it’s been a while since I last posted anything on this blog.

And I’m sure my throngs of followers (does 21 people count as throngs) have been anxiously salivating at what I will create next.

Well, a man can dream can’t he?

I have been creating, just not on here. I’ve been avidly writing, rewriting, and reediting my movie. I’m determined more than anything to finish it. Not for monetary purposes (I understand and accept it’s possible nothing I write will ever sale), but for the purpose of completion. Something I struggle with in almost everything I get into.

There is something healing in writing. In particular for me, writing a film script. Life is not grand at work right now at all. Personal life is rocky at times. I’m not happy with the kind of money I make, believing I’m destined to do more. Can’t stand the neighborhood I live in. Realizing the depth of my lack of discipline, and I hate it with a passion. Can’t seem to get along with people as of late, and all I really find myself wanting to do lately is retreat to an island where there are no people, even if for just a little while.

Insert movie writing software, an actively creative mind, and a desire to disappear for a while here. Movies do that to you in general. They give you an escape and that escape is wonderful. A good movie makes you disappear into another world, forgetting even if just temporarily about your current problems and real life situations.

Now imagine for one second if you had the ability to create that escape. Not just visiting a man made place, but creating an entire life of a person and controlling what they do, what they say. Literally make characters do what you want, when you want, how you want. Put them in situations that are not easy for them. Make them victorious or make them fail; your choice. Imagine seeing a “what if” scenario forming realistically in your mind’s eye.

It doesn’t matter if it’s viewed as good or not. Truthfully it has the potential to be the best movie ever made or the worst. Who knows? What I do know is that I’ve never felt the way I feel when writing this film with anything else I’ve done. It literally keeps me sane.

For all intents and purposes, when I write this script I’m playing God. It’s nice, not because of any kind of empowerment (come on, they’re not real people for crying out loud), but because of wonderment. Of course, I’m just a lowly person in the world but if I had to take a stab at it, I would imagine this feeling is what God felt when he first created the world during that very first six day period. Back before he created man who would disobey, turn on Him, and create more havoc. On that day of rest, he had to sit back and feel good about his creation.

That’s what I feel. I feel great that I’m creating scenarios and lives from thin air. If any of my films (I plan to write many scripts whether they sell or not) one day makes a studio a lot of money, the real prize will be what that script meant to me.

It’s existence kept me sane in a personal world of craziness right now. And thank God for that.

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4 thoughts on “Sorry Guys, I’ve Been Away Playing God

  1. I am amazed by your stamina..I myself hope to write a book 1 day. I LOVE to write….but I just cant seem to continue this willpower and abandon my writing as soon as i start … best of luck to u though…and YES 21 counts as throngs 🙂

    • Thank you so much. I know what you mean. I suppose everyone goes through that but I imagine once if we could push past that the reward is on the other side. Best of luck to you too and thanks for reading. Oh and glad you share my perspective on the definition of throngs. Hahaha. Hope you have throngs too

      • Hahaha yes I have “throngs” too 🙂 I have a question for you as you are an experienced writer…what do you do when you are in the middle of your work and you just freeze…I have abandoned my writings for a year or more now…and I cant make myself to go back and complete it?

        • Well I wouldn’t say I am an experienced writer. I just really started doing it about a year ago, when I started my first blog. So I’m not sure if I’m the one to answer this question. I should at least finish my project before I start giving out advice. That was what I said in this post. For me, just finishing is an accomplishment because I don’t finish what I start so often

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